Másání

We simultaneously leave behind home as we forge a new one. Nostalgia is framed in terms of its etymology: the return to home (nostos) and longing (algia). Nostalgia wraps itself in imagination, in romanticism, in sadness. The Navajo word for this sort of nostalgia is ch’ééná, which is more of a heartbreak when “a way of life is gone forever.” My own construction of home is unavoidably linked to my Navajo and Southern identity—identities that can be highly imagined and self-determined. Leaving home demands choices be made about what to bring with us and what to leave behind.

There was so much loss in saying good bye to my grandmother, my Masoni. Or at least that’s how my family spells it: more properly it is amásání. Masoni was everything that is Navajo. As my family packed up her home, the walks down the hallway reminded me to walk in beauty, that she is now walking in beauty in a golden desert with Che.